The Classical Monsters Return - But at What Price?

Seemingly hot on the heels of last year's 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' comes what may be this summer's big hit, 'Van Helsing'.

The vampire expert, based on the heroic character from 'Dracula' created by Bram Stoker, takes on Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman in a blaze of top-of-the-range CGI special effects. Does this mark the end of the self-aware slasher genre inspired by 'Scream', and a return of the monster greats that have dominated the horror movie genre since it began? I wouldn't hold your breath.

It's arguable of course to say that Frankenstein and pals never really went away, the nineties saw big budget remakes of Dracula, Frankenstein, the Mummy, and the Invisible Man ('Hollow Man'), as well as variations and cheaper takes on other greats, ('Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde', 'Wolf', Disney's 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' etc). However the spirit of those Universal and Hammer greats, wasn't ever really present, which probably explains why the goth greats have now pasted over to the fantasy film, to avoid competing with the ever popular gore-drenched horror genre.

So are the one-time boogie men that stopped child and adult alike from having a comfortable night now simply figures of fun? Well even by 1948, when Abbott and Costello got their hands on practically every monster worth it's salt, the goth greats were already stooges to brainless comedy, so there's nothing new there. And although it's probably the only way to squeeze any sort of originality from the now overly-familiar characters, I do have my reservations about the new comic book approach that seems to have developed.

Forgotten are 'Frankenstein's warning that man shouldn't play God, 'The Mummy's tale of unconquered love through millennia, and 'The Wolfman' and 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's exploration of man's inner evil. At least 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' and 'Mary Shelley's Frankenstein' were attempts make literal versions of the stories, as intended by the authors, for the first time on the big screen (of course overlooking several 1970's TV attempts). I now fear that the days of classical horror appear to be long gone, and the best we can hope for is a barrage of famous monster fight movies in the vein of 'Freddy Vs. Jason', heavily reliant on computer generated imagery and lacking in any kind of quality plot context or interesting characters.

I, like many people, am not a big fan of CGI effects. Sure, it's the only way some effects can be achieved, but I think it takes away a chuck of believability. If I had to choose between Christopher Lee's death scene in 'Dracula', and Aalyiah's in 'Queen of the Damned', I know which I find more effective, even today. It makes me fear that we'll now be in for yet more remakes of our favorite horror stories, this time with plenty of great CGI effects, possibly at the expensive of now legendary dialogue and plot. I can't wait.

Now I don't want to sound like some whining traditionalist, I hope that 'Van Helsing' is a great film (and not a colossal flop like 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'), and if it is, I hope it's a box-office success. However, I fear the monster's have once again become clichéd characters, just as they were when billed with Abbott and Costello; this time their just stooges for CGI effects. Whilst I'm sure 'Van Helsing' will be pleasing to the eye, I'm sure it won't be to taxing for the brain. It now seems that the creations of Shelley and Stoker are nothing more than horror icons, thrown together for cheap thrills. I suppose it shows how little respect the horror genre garners, imagine the outcry if some Hollywood big shot commissioned 'Hamlet Vs. Jane Eyre'?

Archived Tournaments: Ultimate Hunchback Fiendish Phantom Invincible Invincible Man Maddest Mad Sculptor Prosperous Prospero Unlikable Usher

Price: Champion!		Heston: Challenger!

Each Round, We Will Compare Performances of the Greatest Horror Stars of All Time. This Month, it's a Battle to be the Sole Survivor, as we ask: 'Who Was the Most Likely Last Man on Earth?' It's Vincent Price from 'Last man on Earth' (64) Vs. Charlton Heston from 'The Omega Man' (71):

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THE RATINGS

There are five rounds. Each combatant is rated from 0% to 20% in each round. The total combined percentages of the five rounds equals the total rating. The star with the highest total rating goes through to next month!

ROUND ONE - Pedigree

Price: Not only was he the last man on Earth, but one of the last true great horror actors. He was legend - 20%

Heston: A fine actor, Heston had become a genre favourite in the last sixties to early eighties after starring in a certain film about monkeys. "Get your hands off me, you filthy ape!". - 15%

ROUND TWO - Suitability

Price: Price becomes a rather unlikely hero for a change, battling hordes of vampires, rather than being the monster himself. Still, not much of an action hero though, was he? - 14%

Heston: He became an end-of-world movie specialist, starring in such features a Holocaust 2000 and Soylent Green. - 17%

ROUND THREE - Looking the Part

Price: Well, Price does add to the sinister tone of the pic, but again, you have to question his heroic qualities. - 12%

Heston: His tough guy image also added credibility to a character whose's basic daily chores consisted of (to paraphrase snooker star John Virgo) "staking as many vampires as yer can"- 15%

ROUND FOUR - Acting Ability

Price: A superb actor, he's at his campy best here, as terror lurks from every corner, Price tries to drown out the sounds of the attacking vampires outside of his barracked house by listening to classic music.- 18%

Heston: A much respected man's man who talks through grinding teeth and takes as many beatings as he dishes out. - 17%

ROUND FIVE - The Film Overall

Price: An Italian made cheapie that drags in parts, enhanced by the appearance of Price and several fairly haunting scenes - 15%

Heston: This second version of Richard Matheson's 'I Am Legend' is a HUGELY disappointing Hollywood take that throws in unnecessary romantic subplots and features hopelessly dated fashion styles. At least the zombies with afros in 'Dawn of the Dead' were supposed to be a funny! - 12%

TOTALS - So close, but...

Price: 79%

Heston: 77%

Price survives once more! Next time he'll take on Oliver Reed - whose the most utterly vile Roderick Usher?!?